Family Life

For this week's blog entry, I would like you to consider how race, gender, social class, and sexuality (1) impacted and shaped your family life so far, (2) affected your ideas about families, and (3) might affect your family life in the future. The purpose of this assignment is to get you thinking about how social positions affect our family experiences as well as to contemplate what your beliefs are and why you have them. Such things often seem “normal” or “natural” so try to think critically when doing this exercise.
Throughout my life I have not been surrounded by much racial or ethnic diversity living in a suburban town and going to private schools. I wish that I was more culturally aware but I have learned that I am completely different from my grandparents and great-grandparents. Being Irish and Italian Catholics they do not believe in mixed marriages or support homosexual relationships. Although I know that they were taught that these instances were wrong, I still have a hard time accepting their beliefs. My parents are more liberal than they are but no where near as accepting as my sisters, brother, and I. These types of situations are common and are not a big deal. Love is the only thing that matters in a relationship, not race, ethnicity, or sexuality. When I have children I hope that they too will share the same beliefs as me.
My family consists of my mom, dad, brother, two sisters, and I and as you can see, being a female in the Barrett clan definitely holds some power based on the numbers. However, my dad is very dominant and protective of his girls and has taught my brother to do the same. It makes my sisters and I feel safe that we have someone who loves us look after and care for us. My father learned this from his father and his father from his and so on and I believe that my brother, Craig will instill the same values and beliefs in his sons. It is strange to say but I believe that I look for values and beliefs that are similar to my dad and brother when dating. Also, it is clear that there is a double standard in our family and that my brother can do some things that my sisters and I will never be able to because he is a boy. Although it is something that frustrates me immensely, it is also something that I have learned to accept with age. However, because I am aware of how unfair it is I will be sure to avoid it when I have children. My mother is a housewife and stays at home while my father works. She takes care of the house and all of us. I can not begin to describe what I have learned from my mother and I can only hope to grow to be half the woman she is. My parents have taught me the importance of intellect, manners, respect, genuinity, self-respect, dignity, hard work, patience, compassion, loyalty, trust, and most importantly, how to love. Another value that my parents have worked hard to instill in all of us is the importance of independence and being able to stand on your own two feet. My father started working at an early age and encouraged my brother to do the same in order to develop a sense of responsibility. On the other hand, he encouraged my sister and I to never rely on a man and it is crucial to develop your own success and to be proud of who you are.
Up until high school I went to public schools in Dartmouth, MA which were all great schools. However, when it came time to choose a high school my parents gave us the 'choice' of going to Dartmouth High or going to Bishop Stang, the smaller Catholic school in our town. Going to a Catholic school from childhood through high school my father encouraged us to go to Stang even though we were told it was our decision. Nevertheless, I loved high school and never regretted going to a Catholic school with kids that I had never met before. I received an invaluable education and then was accepted to Boston College, another private school. In both schools, I was not surrounded by much diversity or drastic differences in social class. However, New Bedford is the town over from Dartmouth and where I learned a great deal about poverty, violence, and ethnicity and being in Boston further expanded my awareness. It made me realize what I want for my life and what I take for granted. I learned the value of hard work and the importance of making enough money to give my future children the life that I had and made me realize that something needs to be done. I want my children to be aware of the hardships in the world and the value of equality.
As a female, I have learned the importance of sexuality, dignity, and having respect for your body. My mother has taught me never to let anyone take advantage of me or sell myself short. She has taught me to value my body, to be conservative and modest. Sex is an unspoken topic in my house because my mother and father believe that is it to be saved for marriage and women should not be promiscous or have premarital sex. In fact, I rarely see them kiss in front of me because they are not big supporters of public displays of affection. For these reasons, I have been taught to conceal my sexuality. I feel as though I have to hide some things from my parents which I don't like to do. For these reasons, I aspire to be more open with my children so that they feel as though they can tell me anything and not be afraid of what I will say. However, I will continue to instill the value of respecting your body in my children.